The Colvin Report: I Am Bitter!

I find myself here, in State College, small town Pennsylvania, pondering why I am so bitter while I smell the sweet aroma of gun oil that lingers in the air as I clean my Glock 30 subcompact pistol with my aged white t-shirts.

I had just got off the phone, where I told my parents to pray for me and rejoiced over the blessings that my family has received over the past few years. You see, my 7 year old niece, who nearly died in a horrendous car accident, involving a run-a-way driver (who was probably an illegal alien), had just completed her last session of physical therapy. It was a blessing by anyones measures, or at least an ignorant bitter small town boy like myself.

After that, I couldn't help but complain about why I was still unemployed. Why did all the jobs leave Pennsylvania 30 years ago to never return? Why did George W. provide for a lower average unemployment rate than Bill Clinton, but I still didnt have a job?

Finally it came to me.... I would embrace the conservative party and cling to my bitterness as a way to solve my problems. Alas, I figured things out. Now I can put my gun back together, say my prayers, and go to sleep.

Thank God for Annie Oakley.